Sunday, July 17, 2011

2 A**holes Buying a Washer

(Having to search for 5 minutes for an appliance salesperson and then, when one is found, being blown off with, "I can't help you. I have an appointment in 3 minutes." and then 10 minutes later being told by another salesperson as she whizzes by, "Just hang on, guys. I'll be back in a few minutes," contributed to this less-than-stellar moment that, in retrospect, is disturbingly similar to a certain recurring SNL sketch.)

A**Hole 1 (sitting on the washer):"We want this washer."
Sales:"This one?"
A**hole 1:"Yeah."
Sales:"Just the washer?"
A**hole 1:"Yeah. Do you have it in blue?"
Sales:"It only comes in white. Do you want it in blue?"
A**hole 1:"Yeah. In blue. Do you want it in blue, babe?"
A**hole 2:(smacking gum, not looking up from smartphone):"No"

Sales:"Do you want to purchase a pedestal?"
A**hole 2: (not looking up from smartphone):"Not for $199, we don't."
Sales, helpfully:"It's $228."
A**hole 2:"Oh, then sure, it's just the number '199' we have a problem with."
Sales:"I'll stop talking now."

A small piece of trash flies across the desk onto the lap of A**hole 2.
A**hole 2 (not looking up from smartphone):"What was that?"
Sales:"I don't know, I just moved this and ..."
A**hole 1: "A spitball. She just flung a spitball at you, babe."
A**hole 2: "A what?"

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